Tuesday, November 06, 2007
random thoughts
8:13 PM
1930…. I rot in the macdonalds near my house. On my laptop, munching my way to the fries and fillet o fish. Here I am, doing nothing, or rather don’t know what to do. Everything seems so far, I feel myself being isolated in this world, and this world gets more and more dull. to think of it, my past is so vibrant, so colorful till I don’t wish the time to tick. Every second counts, it’s counting on my misery and how much I missed that person.
2nd November, 2007 at 1200, is my doomsday. This day that made me feel so devastated, made me so clueless and helpless. I went for a scan on that day, a scan on both of my ankles. I was diagnosed, broken ankle ligament. One ligament out of three was torn, that explains why I can’t turn my ankle and the sharp pains…yada…yada.yada..
4th November, 2007 at 1600, I pulled my hamstring while playing a volleyball game in sentosa, my first time pulling a muscle, for the first time I felt that my muscle is over-stretched. Even right now, I’m still limping.
All these stress, made me wanting to give up. Made me decide to leave everything behind, let go of everything and start anew. But I wonder, am I really up to the task to let go of everything, my friends, sort of the closest to me friends, those who will really remember my face. There are a lot of random thoughts up in my mind; I do not know what I’m really thinking. Perhaps, the wall said it right, if I knew right from the start that things will not work out, don’t pin too much hope on it. If you asked me, what’s my hope, I will tell you straight, I don’t know. Even if one day, you’re married, we weren’t as close, or you are attached. And you heart will no longer have a corner for me to stand, I’ll still be there, wherever, whenever you need.
I think it’s time to really let go. To the one who just got discharged, take care of yourself, take the greatest care, great friend you’ve been, thanks for recognizing me as your friend. This message is private. To the one who like to squabble with me, the same one that is not sweet. I will do my best to contain the one within me. Not making you feel miserable, for I just want to see the always smiling you. For what I’ve said, I will make it happen.
p/s: there’s U in every of my thoughts, as time goes, there’s U in every minute. To me, U no longer represent umbrella, it stands for everything.
