face off....
what's wrong with me? im always that indecisive....what happened? what exactly i wanted? i do not know....damn....this is me...uncertain me...i've wanted it a lot...but when it's right in front of me...i began to fear...as i know...it will leave me again....luckily i've an alternative....but now....my alternative had been taken up...what should i do? do i really have to wait till i've lose it then i can realize its importance? or i need to move forward and find something new that grabs my attention and shines on me solely....and that let me has the urge to fight for it? i do not know...till now...i've not come across that....i do not have a fixed mind....why why why? :(oops i've did it again....screw it...i've promised myself that i will not do it...why why why....why can't i keep my promise and control myself? what's happening to me? i can keep secrets and promises but why can't i keep this one? really hated myself....so what if im the nicest guy? so what if i have the most matured mindset? so what? i'm still that rotten if i can't keep a promise...furthermore a promise that is made by myself...i'm just lying to myself...cheating my own feelings....im so fake...i guessed i'll never improve if this problem persist...i must really hold on to it...one day many mistakes...how am i going to live my life now...control control...sebas...i believe u can do it...cause you are one class above the others...you are simply different...sian....just found that i do not know the songs well...they know me...but i do not know them...just found out my weakness in singing....i can't do fast changing of pitch....how how? what am i going to do? can someone just tell me...if you do not know the song well...do not even go attempt it...it just sounds disgusting....hahaha...(: is my room too cold? and will coldness affect your singing ability? sian... i do not know....i need a teacher....i need advice.....lee music school here i come.....provided i've saved enough...hahahah.... yes...cold will make your articulation and pronounciation fail...damn...why am i feeling cold?
p/s: guessed im going to sing to forget my mistakes...tomorrow first isibl match against the japanese...wish me luck...
