[[ it's a Beautiful dae ]]

my heartfelt words

2008-02-07T20:36:00.001+08:00

how much?

不管昨天你对我说过了什么
今天的我还是依然依然沉默
两个人生气着看着谁先舍不得
何必这样来试探我们的缘份

不管昨天我对你说过了什么
今天的你还是依然依然自我
问这要到什么时候
才会觉得无法忍受
难道这样才证明爱得有多深

所以爱有几分
这是你不停的疑问
你的心里对我有多认真
何必执着在我的部分

所以爱有几分
这是你永远的疑问
只有最后一切才有定论

不管昨天我对你说过了什么
今天的你还是依然依然自我
问这要到什么时候才会觉得无法忍受
难道这样才证明爱得有多深

所以爱有几分
这是你不停的疑问
你的心里对我有多认真
何必执着在我的部分
所以爱有几分
这是你永远的疑问
只有最后一切才有定论

没有值不值得当失去了有什么好争
就在转身之后我的不舍有多么的真

所爱有几分
这是你不停的疑问
你的心里对我有多认真
何必执着在我的部分
所以爱有几分
这是你永远的疑问
只有最后一切才有定论
只有最后一切才有定论☆

p/s: listen hard.

addicted.

2008-01-28T23:42:00.000+08:00

addiction.

im recently addicted to this song. meaningful and emo as usual.

如过你还爱我.

p/s: 如过你还爱我, 你不会对我如此的冷漠......

my head is filled with you~

2008-01-14T20:19:00.000+08:00

我想你
好想你
很想你

p/s: if i let you go, i will never know, how my life would be, HOLDING you close to me. but if i ever see, you smiling back at me....well...i'm contented enough.

pronounce DEAD.

2008-01-03T08:58:00.000+08:00

p/s: No need to search the world around, cos you'll know where i'll be found. =/

random thoughts

2007-11-06T20:13:00.000+08:00

1930…. I rot in the macdonalds near my house. On my laptop, munching my way to the fries and fillet o fish. Here I am, doing nothing, or rather don’t know what to do. Everything seems so far, I feel myself being isolated in this world, and this world gets more and more dull. to think of it, my past is so vibrant, so colorful till I don’t wish the time to tick. Every second counts, it’s counting on my misery and how much I missed that person.

2nd November, 2007 at 1200, is my doomsday. This day that made me feel so devastated, made me so clueless and helpless. I went for a scan on that day, a scan on both of my ankles. I was diagnosed, broken ankle ligament. One ligament out of three was torn, that explains why I can’t turn my ankle and the sharp pains…yada…yada.yada..

4th November, 2007 at 1600, I pulled my hamstring while playing a volleyball game in sentosa, my first time pulling a muscle, for the first time I felt that my muscle is over-stretched. Even right now, I’m still limping.

All these stress, made me wanting to give up. Made me decide to leave everything behind, let go of everything and start anew. But I wonder, am I really up to the task to let go of everything, my friends, sort of the closest to me friends, those who will really remember my face. There are a lot of random thoughts up in my mind; I do not know what I’m really thinking. Perhaps, the wall said it right, if I knew right from the start that things will not work out, don’t pin too much hope on it. If you asked me, what’s my hope, I will tell you straight, I don’t know. Even if one day, you’re married, we weren’t as close, or you are attached. And you heart will no longer have a corner for me to stand, I’ll still be there, wherever, whenever you need.

I think it’s time to really let go. To the one who just got discharged, take care of yourself, take the greatest care, great friend you’ve been, thanks for recognizing me as your friend. This message is private. To the one who like to squabble with me, the same one that is not sweet. I will do my best to contain the one within me. Not making you feel miserable, for I just want to see the always smiling you. For what I’ve said, I will make it happen.

p/s: there’s U in every of my thoughts, as time goes, there’s U in every minute. To me, U no longer represent umbrella, it stands for everything.

competitions

2007-10-06T05:01:00.000+08:00

woo, competitions around the corner. so i will share some of my experiences to help those who are competing to boost up their confidence, so as to aid them to play better during the game.

confidence.

confidence is something that will be able to make someone perform better in their games. this technique that i'm teaching, not only applicable to games that you compete, it is also applicable to your every day life. First i will define confidence.

Confidence is something that a belief, a belief in yourself of being capable of doing certain task. Simple. When one is confident, everything will go smoothly and you will not be easily affected by people.

The technique that i'm going to teach, is to help trigger your confidence when you need it. It also apply during your low morale periods.

First step: Think of a past incident that will make you feel confident. Like for example, you won first prize in a story telling competition in primary school, you win medal for the school, and as simple as scoring 10 free throws in a game (in basketball context). This incident that you think of, must make you feel proud of yourself.

Second step: Indicate a trigger, how do you indicate a trigger? For example, clenching of fist, punch your fist in the air, pull your ears, or like the primary school kid, rub your nose. This trigger is very important, without this trigger, this whole thing will fail.

Third step: The conditioning process. This is the key of success. All you have to do is now repeat the first step, then the second. Repeat ths process every 3 minutes, like for example, you spend 1 minute on the first step to think of the incident. While thinking, apply the trigger, like when i think of the proud incident, i clenched my fist. Do this step like 3 - 4 times a day. And try to repeat it everyday.

Now this is the fun part, whenever you feel down, low morale or low confident, take a deep breathe, and clench your fist (the trigger). And automatically, the proud incident and confidence will appear in your mind. And you will feel confident.

People will not trust me and think this is absurd. I came up with this technique based on the human physiology. It is called the conditioned reflex, just like you touched a hot object, your hand will automatically be moved away from it. No harm just give it a try. =)

Do not underestimate the power of your mind, if you haven't realised, it is your will that keep you moving and going. It is the most powerful tool in your body.

p/s: smile smile smile. =) stay happy. hope you really smile from the bottom of your heart. =). inu.

Promises

2007-10-04T19:20:00.000+08:00

hi, welcome to the latest show, "bearr bear tells it all". ^^. what is this show about? this show is a show that says all definition of certain words and terms, analyse and understand what does it mean. today's show i'll start with a very simple word, Promise.

Promise.

Promise is a very powerful word, it can either make someone extremely happy or someone extremely sad. So as to say, it brings you to heaven as well as the hell. =/. So, what's so special about this word? First of all, i'll give you the definition, it is the commitment, assurance, through verbal means. For example, "i promise to bring you to the zoo", "i promise to buy you flowers" and "i promise to go out with you". All these are very simple examples.

Please note, promise are like assurance, commitment, but however, they are slightly different. So don't mixed up promise as assurance, because, assurance can be on black and white while promise can't.

Now, i'll tell you the heaven that promise will give to everyone. When a promise is being made to you, you will feel happy, joyful and some blissful moment that you can possibly imagine.
For examples,

"I promise to take care of you" (Boyfriend to girlfriend)
"I promise to get you your favorite toy, if you top your class." (Parents to children)
"I promise that i will never make you sad" (Boyfriend to girlfriend)
"I promise that we will do this together." (Among friends)
"I promise that you'll never walk alone anymore." (Among friends/boyfriend to girlfriend)

Usually, when someone made these kind of promise, the one that is being promised will be extremely happy, motivated and the bliss comes from those boyfriend whose promises are made to the girl.

After having shiny days there bound to be rain, and the rain falls, it is equivalent to the arrival of hell. Why would a simple word brings hell to a person? How? Not the most sophisticated, it is actually very simple. Just BREAK the promise. Not that i'm teaching you how to make people sad and feel miserable. But that is the very truth. Among friends, not close type, promise broken, the person will feel sad. Close friends, maybe got the chance to tolerate, maybe worse, that person will be extremely sad. Especially close friends. Now, the most ultimatum factor that will bring you to hell, that is affections. If one had affections with one another and that kuku fellow breaks his/her promise. Ding Ding Ding! Bingo! You've won the grand prize.

Definitely not the nicest thing to do, i can tell you. That's all i've got to say. Some words from my brains to all people. Don't ever give promises if you bound to break it. Live your words for the promises you've made. Otherwise, don't bother trying to give. Forget to mention, it is a double edge sword, once you burst the bubble, the damage done, not just on the person that you've break your promise, it also will affect you. Especially, when that person is someone you treasure a lot, simple.

So long everyone.

p/s: sometimes i don't what i want either. but the very fact is, i want you by my side. it's no longer do or die, it has become live or live without with. smile. =)

total siansation.

2007-10-01T13:20:00.000+08:00

one more day to a week of my injuries. pain suffered for endless nights. tried to endure despite ppl urge me to see the doctor. finally, today i pain until so fed up, reported sick and see the doctor. how agonising when the pain, from the ankle moves to the knee, so frustrating and yet i can do nothing about it.

end with no choice. went to see doctor and gotten a two days mc. the china nurse freaking funny, she helped me wrap my ankle. after x-ray, i went back to the doctor's room, seeing the doctor not around and i'm walking aimlessly, she approached me.

china nurse: "you finished your x-ray?"
me: "yeap, where is the doctor?"
china nurse (points at the bed): "医生出去了, 你等一会儿. 麻烦先生你到那里坐, 我帮你包一下脚."
me: "oh okay. thanks." (sits on the bed and removed my sandals)

she went away and came back with like five rolls of bandage, and i'm serious, 5 rolls!!!! oh man, what is she wrapping. she brought along 1 roll of with medication which suppose to be anti-inflammatory, which means will ease the swell. she went ahead removing the packing, and she starts to wrap my knee. since no doctor is there, i thought it was doctor's instruction to wrap my knee and my ankle. as she goes on, i find it weird, then i asked,

me: "er, 为什么你包我的膝盖? 我是脚腕受伤leh."
china nurse: "脚腕啊? 不是膝盖?"
me: "不是, 是脚腕."
china nurse: "对不起, 对不起. 不好意识."

lame right. where got nurse wrap never ask where is the injured part one. funny. her name, zhang xin. run when you see her.

this is what my ankle looks like now,

pig leg.

why am i so worry about the injury now? reason is simple. my knee are hurting. ligaments injuries i fear. i fear i couldn't go back to the court. i fear that my future partner will need to take care of a handicapped for life. i fear everything that will be worse.

let me show you all the ligaments found in the knee.

a lot of ligaments right?

let me brief you, once you rupture your ligaments, which means snap. there is no cure unless you go reconstruction, and after reconstruction, you will not recover 100% partially torn ligament will bound you not to do vigorous sports or anything that will strain the particular ligament. so this is how scary ligament injuries can be. no choice. i love basketball.

missed wearing this jersey.

alright so much infos on this. got something for you, who read my blog, i know cannot eat. next time send you a box. =)

looks nice? =X

p/s: i missed seeing this smile. . stay happy. smile more. if really one day, tears roll, tell me. i will definitely wipe it off your face! =D. haha

nice song.

2007-09-25T00:24:00.000+08:00

my fellow mi mi yan introduced me this song which is very sweet and nice. the singer is famous for singing nice, sweet songs. colin raye.

In no time at all, they were standing there in the front of a little church
Among their friends and family, repeating those sacred words.
The preacher said "son, kiss your bride"
And he raised her veil
Like the night they met,
Time just stood still, for

One boy, one girl,
Two hearts beating wildly,
To put it mildly, it was love at first sight.
He smiled, she smiled, and they knew right away
This was the day they'd been waiting for all their lives.
For a moment the whole world
Revolved around one boy, and one girl

sigh. after the injury of my ankle, i suspect i injured my knee ligament too. i'm sad about it. i don't want to end my basketball career like this. sigh. time to shed of. maybe i should stay away for a moment.

to be honest, i don't know to be the usual me or start to seek for something i seek, seems like i'm a wandering soul for so long. time to settle my mind. concoction in progress. =/. up, up and away. but people who have problems, my clinic will still be open, still will help. free of charge.

p/s: recover soon! rest well. as usual, i will be here, will be there, will be wherever you need me to be. =X. =P. =D. remember your medications!

bad day

2007-09-22T00:21:00.000+08:00

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

what a bad day i had man. strained my left ankle in a basketball drill today, thanks to my stupid idea. jump for what. too playful liao. now it became painful. had a collision with des, tried to balance and prevent falling on him, my left ankle didn't listen to me, cragggg it goes, and it is bruised now, can't even do drop steps.

sigh~...

bruises. ignore the hair please.

hope it will recover soon.

p/s: da bian, HL strawberry milk is nice lo. you haven't drink nia, although Meiji is good. i drank 1 whole liter can. worth a try. hope i recover soon.

the day before.

2007-09-20T20:13:00.000+08:00

phew. today's such an interesting yet boring day. didn't go out today, promised my mummy to help take care of my baby boy, bryce! he very guai today, didn't give me any problems at all. fed him with porridge at about 12 plus and he finishes it all. played with him for awhile, really make me happy sia, never seen a boy boy with such a great smile. but he always bully me, always don't want to sleep. so i've got no choice, i coax him to sleep in my arms and i fell asleep too! so fun~ how nice if he's my son. bathed him at night and i went for my supposedly 4km jog.

and when i said jog, it is really jog. i think, in my life, i've never run before. lmao. purely jog. i walked 400m for warming up and then start my 4km jog, jog till bout 2.8km i stopped, too tired to continue. too long nvr jog already i guessed. so i completed my remaining 1.2km by some brisk walking, i think the more i walk, the more brisk i gets. which means faster! stomache. rushed home and headed to the toilet.

some random infos,

personal grooming stuffs, very impt for me. =X sounds so vain sia.

pantene hair fall control shampoo (normal hair) i know i don't have much hair on top, but trust me, i'm hairy. =X
follow me, nature's path anti bacterial shower foam (anti bact should means no bacteria should stay on me and it doesn't kill me cos i'm not a bacteria.)
johnsons & johnsons, clean and clear facial wash ( to maintain my silky complexion on my face)
colgate triple action toothpaste (to brush teeth of course)
listerine, cool citrus antisceptic mouthwash (dummy proof, to wash my mouth)
gillette, mach 3 turbo (shaver)
rexona, ionic men, anti-perspirant deodorant (should know is what right)
Calvin Klein's ck be perfume for men. (perfume liao hor, no need explain).

all these are my personal grooming stuffs, for men who wants to give yourself a fresh look and don't look sloppy, use them ba. good or not, your pick, to me, it's fine. =)

p/s: i'll help those who deserved to be helped. if you had difficulties, can just tell me. i'm not the most unreasonable man on earth. if you need someone to give opinions, i'll give whatever you need and something more. if you need a listening ear, i promise i'll be my very quiet and give you my ear.

lucky numbers

2007-09-19T07:49:00.000+08:00

wooo. writing this post got me excited all over. haha. i'm talking about my favorite numbers or what i call my lucky numbers! haha. i'm so excite. let's have a small briefing, as a rookie, i chose my debutant number, a number which is totally out of random, pure inspirations. i didn't have a fanciful rookie year, so i did not contiune using that number, 12. Within my lucky numbers, there are 3 numbers that i will love to take but still reserved for someone "special" or my idols! yeah! idols! woohoo.

hmmm, so i'll start with the number, 05. since secondary 2, i've reading slam dunk that comic. you know team shohoku? yeah, that book. everyone fancied those star players, idolised, fantasized and hope to be them. Players like, rukawa, hanamichi or the most famous one, akira sendoh. but i never. i've this unique admiration of this guy's ability. toru hanagata, haha, this is where i got my nick toru from. this guy is from shoyo, and wore jersey number 5. ^^.

this is the man.

another guy who wore the same number was my best buddy in my secondary school, my best teammate. he's one cute guy with baby face. a lot of girls got smitten over him. sorry, he's attached. woohoo. sorry ar, he hasn't been uploading his best photos.

the guy in white jacket.
his friendster link: http://profiles.friendster.com/2722330

the second number that i will introduce is the number, 09. woohoo. the greatest number of all. great ppl wore it. i will show you the pictures and i think it will explain it all. save my explanations.

need me explain further? =X

who is this?

check this out!

this number is very special. no pictures thou. great person like steve nash wore it, reggie miller got the inversed of this number. but this number reserves a special place in my heart. someone that i will always remember. pure admiration. wonder how is she now. #13. someone who is the same age as me or younger by 1, know her name but not her person. haha. kiddy thinking, but she power packed, let me keep the number for so long. till now i wont give up the number even though i would like to try other numbers.

next, number, 14. special. long lost number that i always admire. the funniest thing is, those i admire, other then counterparts, i will not take and use that number unless i don't have a choice, i wouldn't dare to tarnish their reputations. number 14 is the number that made me train my 3 pointers like mad, guess without this number, i guess i'm just a center even though with my 3 points i'm still a center. it all points down to this character whom i admired in slam dunk the comics along with toru, this first number that is mentioned. his name is hasashi mitsui. i've got 1 of his poster in my file. i printed it out okay. haha. super cool.

this is what i called consistent shooter. =D~

last number, 15, a number that i would take if i'm left with no choice. this is one of my non-official jersey number when i'm in my secondary school. and he won the slam dunk contest that year. year 2000!. hahaha. my idol. can shoot 3 points like crazy and drives you mad. enough said. pictures~!

superman~

make way for me to land please~

where you looking at?

this is truly my idol. that's all folks. =D

p/s: if you are no better then others, i strongly suggest you keep your comments to yourself. don't make yourself so suprerior which in fact, you are no where near it. =)

lalala

2007-09-15T06:23:00.000+08:00

don't know what struck me, but just feel like writing a song. hahah. just a small and short one, don't know if it is nice. just trying my best. this song is dedicated to someone special, and everyone who misses somebody out there, especially my friends, all the 暧昧s. =D

here it goes,

Do you know,
That i'll be missing you.
Will you feel,
The same way too.
Deep inside,
I want to cherish you,
But i know,
Your heart's not mine.
With my heart,
I'll give you everything,
With my soul,
I'll protect you.
Close your eyes,
And let me hold you tight.
How i wish,
That you were mine, My Love.

That's all. Hope you all will like it. Suddenly got this tune in my head, don't know if it is original.

Haha.

p/s: i liked to see you smile, your smile has engraved in my heart. seeing you smile, makes me happy from inside. so smile more. =)

let me introduce...

2007-08-18T00:10:00.000+08:00

..my son!!!! hahah. his name is bryce tan junjie, date of birth october 14 2006. he's trying to learn how to speak now. super duper cute. words cannot describe his cuteness. see for yourself. =D

tv time~

yawn..where's my pacifier?

yeah..lunch soon~

where's the food ar?

hungry! i wanna bite something!

why are you disturbing my sleep?

okay, pose for the camera. cheez~

tired liao la...zzzzz

my cute lil boy~

cute right? hahaha..i'm here to share my joy with you. so be happy and smile more often, cos you never know, who's fallen for your smile. =D

p/s: things to clarify, he's not really my son, he considered as my godson. my mum is take care of him, and he's the grandson of my mother's fren. =)

memories

2007-08-12T19:49:00.000+08:00

this is my pride and glory throughout the years that i've played basketball.

Article
http://www.rp.sg/happenings/archive/2005/20051105001.asp

everytime i read this, i feel so happy. quoting from the article,

“I’m so honoured to represent RP in this world record feat. It is a brand new experience for me!” exclaimed Sebastian Tan from the School of Applied Science. Sebastian was given the nickname “Mr 3 Pointer” after scoring 20 three pointer shots in the first 2 hours of the event. In total, he made 266 three-pointer shots throughout the event.

perhaps, this is the only thing that i can be happy about.

p/s: worthy or not, your pick.

dropping a stone.

2007-08-12T13:41:00.000+08:00

after reading several blogs, kinda getting a moody state. will be booking in tomorrow, so i guess i will make my final entry. may sounds sad to ppl, may sounds fake to ppl, but couldn't care much.

in this entry, im going to apologise to some ppl, my counterparts. i held on to it, but no further actions. makes ppl feel uncomfortable. shall list down their initials. so that i wont forget. xy, pq, xl, w, t, ws and j.

the very first one, xy. i know i shouldn't have asked that from you, it definitely does not makes you feel better, im so persistent at that point of time and i've totally ignored how you feel. though having you makes me feel comfortable, but forcing you will never do good for both us. perhaps you've already forgot about the things and have moved on, but i feel, i still let you down, abused the trust that you had for me. thus making what it is now today. i see you online, greet you, but no response from you. i've nothing to ask, but please hear me say this to you. sorry, i'm really sorry.

pq, though at the period of time, we were happy even without any names or status. still i feel, it is unfair to me. not that im greedy or what. the things that you do, is simply intolerable. plain crazy. if you think, you are happy, then i congrats you. thanks for letting me realise this logic, things that are meant to be left behind, leave it.

xl, sorry, i couldn't be like what you think. maybe i had too many commitments at that point of time. really sorry that i counldn't bring myself to overcome your circles of frens. thus making it really miserable for you i guess. from the day, u told me that, it really hurt me, and i guess i've inflict more hurtful things to you to allow you to say those words. i know you occasionally will come and read my blog. so i hope you will see this. Sorry. i'm serious. to let you know, i'm still holding on to your headphones.

w, i dunno what to say also. it's me again, who disappoint you. your life is bit too vibrant for me to follow. plus at that point of time, the place that you are working, im destined to lose you. to you, i may not be sensitive enough at times, i admit, i'm insensitive. i cant be like other guy, chauffer you to and fro. things that you do, were all behind me. how am i supposed to know. really, maybe im too insensitive. you always tell me to move on, im moving on, but occasionally just stop and look behind me. i guess you are happy with what you have now.

t, i've seen the ups and downs of your life, tried to be with you whenever i can, though not physically. i really wished to be. barriers are just excuses and i'm always hoping to find a way to bypass the barrier. you often says that i'm so futuristic and it's simply not the personalities of yours. i'll change, not to stop being futuristic, but not being futuristic in front of you. i admit i do long term planning thus making me futuristic. hoping and praying everyday, cursing my life on why we had such different back grounds. but nothing is working, unless i make it to work. till the day, you break those words to me, i really dont know how to react. perhaps you will be feeling more comfortable in that manner.

ws and j, i shall put you two together as the scenario is quite similar. i was trying to be nice and hoping to take care of you. but you just shun me off. to me, it is okay. i'll just leave you as what you always wanted. never cross your path ever again. perhaps, in streets, we met, i doubt you will reach out and call me. sorry. sorry for being such a lousy person. hope you'll find a really nice person that is different from me.

it is such a long entry, dont know how to end it also. making people happy is always what i wanted to do, cos i know that, making others happy, i will feel happy to. but no matter how hard i try, i often bring sadness to people. but anyone realised, one must be sad enough to understand this, no one can tell when i'm sad, guessed i'm good in concealing.

心事谁人知..

p/s: my heart is as empty as my stomach now. a little time for confession, i miss singing with yx and jh. the reason why i love singing so much: singing can explicitly express my feelings.
=(.

happy day.

2007-08-11T00:27:00.000+08:00

today i shall share with you ppl, my GF. hahaha. Good Friend, dont think so much. later i'll get killed by her. haha

there she is...she's so dark now. =(

i tell u, this girl freaking busy and talented. she learns tkd, piano and chinese, what's more? she's a relief teacher. ^^ kudos. dunno why she's my good friend also. to date, we only gone out twice and today's the second time. haha. but we sms till crazy simply due to the fact that she dont chat on phone. haha. lousy. actually im also very talented. can speak malay, haha. but my vocab is so limited la. saya rindu kamu, aku cinta kamu, aku suka kamu, boleh, tak boleh, pandai, terima kasih, selamat malam. all the rubbish.

a very short blog, i've enlisted to army le. so couldn't have a lot of time to crap. all of my frens had left me. all go overseas to study. wanna sing kbox no khakis, all left with masculine voices. sad one lehx.

p/s: update liao hor. ppl, if u want me to leave, just say so. cos hanging on the thread is so fcuking tired and breathless. i can leave silently or everwhat you call it. bao bao, must take care. ^^.

crazy man~

2007-05-27T17:16:00.000+08:00

one day two posts, power la... thanks to kok boon, i'm showing you guys my fling/girlfriend or everwhat you called it.

Pretty bo? Drooling liao right?

p/s: why should i go back with you? four of you once wanted me dead and one of you succeeded. ~Captain Jack Sparrow.

Story Telling

2007-05-27T16:42:00.000+08:00

Story Telling (this story is based on a real life incident).

Once upon a time, there’s this guy, I shall named him Peter (name changed to protect his identity), who never truly in love with a person. He spends most of his time playing games, meeting up with friends and doing things that they liked. Within his circle of friends, he never had a chance to be in loved with someone. Not that he do not have a target, just that he got too many. (~.~'' wtf?!) He had female friends in his life of course, and none of them are the touchables, as to say, either attached or not intending to be attached but most of the case are attached. (duh~)

Whenever he meet up or encounter with a nice girl, he will secretly have feelings for her. (flowery heart, I guessed). It all happened so coincidentally. There is always three scenarios or three confusing feelings left tingling in his heart. (three different girls I think)

One, he will carrying on with his life after knowing the girl, until a certain extent that he would almost forget about her, but if they meet up once in a blue moon, he will realized that he misses her terribly.

Two, he will keep contact with the girl, exchanging conversations, till an extent that it is a routine for him, but noting ever happened.

Three, he misses that girl when they don’t contact each other, misses her even more when they meet up, try to make her happy and be understanding. What could be worse, even when they contact each other frequently, he still misses her.

These three feelings make him feel like a jerk, making it no sense and sounds as if he’s two timing, or even three to four timing. He always thought to himself, which is the true one that he will deeply fall for. That’s all up to you all to comment.

p/s: Will Turner to Elizabeth Swane: My Heart’s yours anyway, would you put it to safe for me? =)

Complaining Night

2007-05-24T00:35:00.000+08:00

I think i’m borne to be unlucky in my life..especially in my love life..buy 4-D also never tio before. Buy toto, nearly tio…dunno got more unlucky or not… I think my unlucky life starts when I start my polytechnic life… no doubt I’ve a more vibrant life but not one that can make me feel what I’ve felt.

Year 2 I guess, is the year where I fell in love with someone, who? Some of you might have know, some of you don’t… nevertheless thanks to ben, I’m not afraid to share but still don’t wished to share…haha..i was so good to her..but in the end, she chose aonther guy instead, er.. another guy that merely know her for a week…that was like? Wtf?!. Hahaha.. also must thank her la…without her, I won’t start a blog and you ppl wouldn’t read this now. That’s my first attempt in my poly life.

Since that incident, I feared or rather don’t wish to commit, until this girl came along.. haha.. my very innocent classmate. LOLX. Really she very innocent, but I didn’t follow up and no confession, CAUSE~ she actually fell in love with another guy, and really happy that she’s with him..but not now… and no one really knows. Hahaha. I’m good in disguising. That’s the second time.

Ever since, I never never did try or be touched or smitten or fall in love again… I just acted happy, play along. Smile here smile there. I had a lot of eye candies, and this made a lot of ppl unhappy I guess…eye candies, sayang and a darling. Needless to say, eye candies are fake, the truth still lies that I’ve feelings for my sayang and darling…one is attached, the others like missing in action…don’t know why..

Why? Why relationship in poly is so different in secondary school? Ahaha I missed secondary school~ first one in secondary two, her name was rachel~ the other in secondary 4, her name carol, oh carol~ I’m nothing but a fool, hahaa. Everything is so simple in secondary school. Sigh…

p/s: why do the one I fancied and put in effort, is either attached or don’t want to be attached, do let me sleep and dream till I never wake up.

work work work~

2007-05-21T23:19:00.000+08:00

ultra busy man, i'll tell you...so many jersey..and the saddest part is i might not be able to go training tomorrow..aiya also good la...i haven recover from my injuries..tomorrow reporting work at 1000 see if i can wake up~

p/s: tired tired tired..when can i rest? perhaps the day i die. =(

headache~

2007-05-21T00:28:00.000+08:00

supposed to work today~ but didn't go to work, cos of a terrible headache in the morning, and i slept till quite late...Guess, im thinking too much, that knock indeed has some impact on me even though i'm crowned as the wall...feeling giddy, headache and ear pain...sigh...guess i'm going to recover from it fast...

newly discovered injury, i just realised my right wrist is a bit sprained..i felt sharp pain when i rotated it..my thumb, is painful again...bad memories..hope i recover soon..

p/s: to the person out there, who i am, what directions i'm heading, i do not know...just hope that one day, you will truly understand...

My Passion~

2007-05-19T00:34:00.001+08:00

today started a day going out with my old friend, very long nvr go out with her le...ever since somethings happened...what things? i shall not mention. but nevertheless, i meet her in the afternoon at around 1230...went to west coast recreation centre to play pool...soooooo long never go to that place already, i emphasize, soooooooo long~ last visit is like secondary four, coming to 5 years le...Nothing changes there, just addition of new shops but still very run down..this shows that in life, human change, but memories still remains...getting poetry again.

met roy at woodlands control at 430, he didn't go school again...power la..he's sick thou and yet i reprimanded him..>.<.. my bad.made my way down to kiddy palace in causeway point to buy powder for my boy boy (bryce)...on my way out to meet roy..i saw her~!!!!.. so happy..she's heading to work but dropping by causeway point to buy stuffs...didn't say much also.. stupid me.. so lousy..exchanged a few words..then go le.regrets~!!

injured...today training not really tiring but with some crazy acts, i did push ups with my guys..so much for a graduate...LOL.. i simply cant stand ppl argue during training...please, just do as you are told...and thanks to yongjun, i cut my face.. first time face injury..it's a small cut anyway...hahah...so don't make a big fuss out of it..

so sian, first time, what happened was yongjun jumped and tip the ball, i jump on second try, trying to hit the ball away, his elbow landed on my face and i got cut by my specs.

p/s: authority isn't everything, use your magnanimous heart and actions, to make ppl respect you, not hate you..

chak~

2007-05-14T14:20:00.000+08:00

to that someone out there...i'm so gonna give you a surprise...this surprise is not easy, it requires time.. so stay tuned. q=

p/s: i'm so very happy.

Glitz' 07

2007-05-12T10:11:00.000+08:00

sports excellence award..the recognition of all athletes' efforts and passion in their game...a very good evening to start with seeing all the sportsmen and sportswomen in republic polytechnic... i've gotten myself a meritorious silver and rp sports for good award, was the nominee for team captain of the year. (=. So even if i never get my prestigious team captain of the year, i shall make a speech here (i know i a bit bhb).

" First of all, i want to thank my teammates for the recognition of my commitment and efforts for the team, secondly and most important i have to thank the basketball advisor, mr benjamin seow, without his faith in me, he wouldn't chose me as his captain, at times i maybe lazy and not doing things, he will not grumble but tolerate instead, it was actually him that makes me mature in the years in republic poly.
Today, this award is handled to me, does not mean that i'm the best, but it does signify the amount of efforts that i've put in the team. So i'll share something with the current batch or maybe the future batch of captains, being a leader in the team, you don't just command and idle, instead, you give directions and execute with your team. You don't steal limelight, neither you will be the best in the game, you are more passionate then the team, always put the team in front of you.
To end this speech, please press 1, oops, okay, to end this speech, i would like to thank republic polytechnic for all the opportunities given to me, otherwise i wont be on this stage. "

nightmare in the day. i've a very strong feeling that she's ignoring me. sigh~ perhaps blocked me on msn. i dunno, i've totally no idea what had happen and the sudden disappearing, maybe i'm just too annoying. alright, i guess, from today onwards i shall not "disturb" you again, i don't even dare to call you and ask. maybe i'm thinking too much, but this is getting very true. i'm afraid of losing you and this is going to be a truth for me. Dejected~

p/s: sigh~ i shall wish you the best of health and the best of the years ahead, always take great care of yourself, i understand, we are just friends, in no shoes to do so much or even care so much. so as long as you're happy, i think it is good for me le ba. i saw you today, from afar. )=

tired tired tired.

2007-05-09T00:18:00.000+08:00

i start a day with my mother grumbling at me at around 830, cos i haven wake up and supposed to meet my fren at 1000 over at jurong east station. he skipping lessons to accompany me to sing karaoke and watch spidey, since it had been a long wait from the last visit to kbox. i reached jurong east at around 1005, but where is des? he is late la. zzzz, i thot im late liao, he still can be later then me.

that kuku jiao reached about 1030?! den we travelled to woodlands, on the way as usual, gong jiao wei, and plain jiao wei. reached woodlands at about 1100, then we went straight to the cinema to purchase tickets for spidey~ 1400 show.

sing song time~ we head straight to party world after purchasing the tickets, and sang at the package of 10 dollars triple plus cos got 2 drinks. a bit of regrets, cos the second drink, also drank a bit rush. i started singing with my favorite song, some oldies, then kenji wu's songs and i ended the session with some english oldies all time favorites. and i tried I still Believe, and i believed i died on the spot. )=

spidey spidey~ cool show, even though a bit long, but to think of it, spidey fighting 3 enemies in the show, lose a girlfriend, quite worthy.. (= was superbly happy when harry (once his enemy) help spidey to fight venom and sandman in order to save his love. super sad when he got evil and smacked mary jane. tmd~ is that the way to treat a girl?(i will never treat my girl this way.)

show end, rush back to school, realising haven eat since breakfast, bought a hotdog from orange julius and a new white color jersey due to a friendly game that i was not informed about, spent 29.90 for it, yao ming, and let andy mock for the whole session. we won the game by 1 point with a magnificent fight back from deficit, but i wasn't part of the fight back squad. at least they are fighting, and nearly broke out into a fight, i pity en ning, he got stucked in the middle.

late night dinner, over at kfc but wtf?! kfc no more chicken? the usual gang went to macs to have our dinner, an ultra full one. i really ate a lot. and is really a lot. kinda regretting it, was gossiping about someone who was once our pal and too much coincidences plus incidents made me detest him a lot. i felt disgusted knowing him as my friend.

on my way home, i msg her, just the normal kinds, our conversations are always full of questions and answers and solely on that, other then that, i seldom have her reply.. sigh~ when will i get to know her more? just like a song des had sang today, 除此之外, 我要你明白, 你的笑, 我真是喜欢看, 于是我一次又一次等待, 其实都还算愉快, 除此之外, 非常遗憾, 你的心, 我还是打不开 and if you need somebody, 我确定我会在, 除此之外, 我还在等待, 你的心将为我敞开 but if you need somebody, 你知道我会不会走开. this is exactly how i felt.

horror came. i opened my mailbox. i was waiting for the NTU letter for so long, initially was so excited about it, but when it came, my mind was still. cos i knew, it wasn't bringing me good news, suddenly felt very down and i took a deep breathe and open the envelope, true enough, my application was not successful. sigh~ appeal appeal. i guess i need my testimonial real soon to aid me in the appeal.

p/s: i really need her by my side. i do have plenty of friends, and my guys are good enough and i seek is her and her concern. when will i start to honour my promises to myself? nobody knows. it is a really long day. bearr is down.

恋上一个人

2007-05-07T21:21:00.000+08:00

loving someone...will make you lose yourself...is it really a must to wait till you lose, then you treasure?.. sometimes, i tell myself, i really want to, but just cant bring myself into committing...when i treasure something/someone, i really scare to lose her...and super afraid to let her down...im so scared that i do not have time for her...

what makes things worse is, im enlisting soon, cant spent time with her as usual...and i superly cant bear to see her wasting her time on me, 2 years is not a short time...at times, im really dumb..just hope that she one day will realise it...realise what?..my concern and care for her.

at times, i saw her, she's one happy girl when she's with her friends, but at times she seems to be troubled and sad..i want to help..but i dunno where to start...i know you can take care of yourself, but at least leave me a room in your heart...

p/s: 恋上一个人, 就容易失了神~ 非要等到爱远走分两头, 才知道多舍不你走~.

finally`

2007-05-04T11:08:00.000+08:00

yesh, finally i've update my blog, new template new skin, just to hope for a brand new life. (=

seriously, teach me how to get close to you..it is tough, but i will try, im acting all alone out there, fighting and defending myself from your company. just feel like singing, ~im all out of love, im so lost without you~, sadly, but true, im so lost without you. i dunno when will this last or when will this end, but without you, i've no directions.

this will be the new beginning of my blogging life since i've idle for so long, finally back in action.

p/s: im enlisting on the 27th of july, and i'll be gone for 2 years, will you wait for me?

late night..

2006-10-31T01:45:00.000+08:00

wah lan...late at night and i cant sleep..wth...hahaha... so long nvr blog... so try to write a few words...how are you? are you doing fine?

p/s: bearr roarrs

yoohoo!

2006-02-26T19:16:00.000+08:00

the day has come!

Thanks to mj, my blog is finally original. hahaha. went JP today and shop for a 80 gb External HDD. Still alright i guess....One more week to mark the end of the academic year. Year 3 soon...

Guess i gotta find a part time job real fast so i dont have to idle during the holidays.

p/s: bearr roars.

what a day....

2006-01-18T23:58:00.000+08:00

Officiating fever....

Hahaha...today i had my beep test...finally... supposed to run 86 but only managed to get 60 lol. i suck...

Saw the remaining IVP matches....and i just realized....NUS is not hard to win actually...but their physique is just too overwhelming..hah. so much so to speak of.... TP is a team with zero moral and zero integrity....they sucks to the core.

p/s: TP sucks!

IVP season

2006-01-17T12:22:00.000+08:00

IVP is Here

Just that you are wondering about what is IVP, i'll give you a short decription. I stands for institute, V stands for versities and P stands for Polytechnic. Inevitably, IVP is a competition held for ITE Comb., four universities (NUS, NTU, SIM and SMU) and five Polytechnic (NP, SP, RP, TP, NYP) to pit against each other, it is considerd the most prestigous competition held in tertiary level.

Alright, RP tipped off with a 30 points deficit against SP. WHat a game, i played badly, he play badly, and basically everybody played badly. THat sucks! How??? The game was played without the utmost committment. There's still lack of trust between teammates. Sigh. Other CCAs in RP is doing well, we have the rugby team to win touch rugby champions, floorball team vanquishing their opponents and netball winning TP. THe pressure is getting heavier. When will i be able to withstand the pressure and fight back?

Well well, today is the only chance that we can roar back, pitting against TP. Hope everthing is going on a smooth ride for me. Sigh.

p/s: faith is lost, and i have to shoulder the responsibility to restore it. :((

2005-11-29T00:17:00.000+08:00

IPPT Trial Run

Standing Board Jump : 200 cm
4 x 10 Shutter Run: 11.34 secs
1 min Sit-ups: 36
Pull ups: 0

Overall: FAILED.

hahahaha..but im happy that my standing board jump improved by 40 cm...last time during sec 4 i only managed to jump 161cm hahahaha...can imagine how fat was i last time....lolx....

sooooo long nvr blog....so better update abit....dunno what to update also....im still a happy man...but with financial crisis.....hahaha....see ya around next time.....(:

p/s: im so engrossed in maple story..god please help me...im getting older cos i nag a lot..

happiest day of my life...

2005-10-16T22:34:00.000+08:00

happiest moment....

i sometimes wonder...how many " happy moment " should 1 person have...or even the " happiest moment "....and which is the true " happiest moment "? im sure people have been saying this is the happiest moment of my life very often...in fact...it is the happiest moment of their life at that point of time....

well....if im given a choice to choose...and if one day our human brains gets full...i'm satisfied with that one moment...my 19th birthday celebration...and even 1 day i lose my memories...i still want that one moment...

this moment is a combined birthday celebration with abby and hammie....all falls on the same date....so coincidental...and it's full of laughter and i'm pretty sure....all of us enjoyed...there were times when bad luck befallen...but at that particular moment....we are top of the world...this is one celebration that i never had...

the birthday babies....sweet...aren't they??

p/s: let those unhappy stuffs be gone with the past....let's look ahead for a better tomorrow... if you can't drink...dont drink....((:

woooohoooo....

2005-10-07T23:54:00.000+08:00

woooohoooo.....

im so happy today....cos i manage to reach my goals....no la...is just that my work has finally paid off and showed some results....has been training most of the time....ytd had a match of my life....the game was so physical....and my whole body ache sia...

finally....blogspot is fine.....

p/s: im so happy and im lovin' it....i hope those ppl who are sad to share my happiness.(:

sigh....

2005-10-05T22:47:00.000+08:00

my team....

seriously...can you guys matured....

i pity my coach....

p/s: all i want is you guys to make the coach happy by doing what he wants you to do....):

siao liao...

2005-10-04T21:53:00.000+08:00

what's happening to me?

what on earth is happening to me...

my temper is getting worse....i don't know why....i'm easily agitated....

someone....please save me....

p/s: im getting hot headed....

wedding bell...

2005-10-01T23:34:00.000+08:00

ben's wedding....

fun...hilarious...i enjoyed....

finally he's getting married...after 9 years of relationship and 2 years of engagement....

p/s: hope to see little ben soon....hahahaha..and blogspot still crazy...my world..no no...my blog is now in black and white....:(

wo hao lei....

2005-09-30T20:23:00.000+08:00

sports day....

tiredx...im damn tired....

ben's big day tomorrow...(:

p/s: blogspot really siao liao...i dont know what to do....):

HELP~!!!

2005-09-28T23:39:00.000+08:00

helpppp~!!!!

i need the emergency button...

er...do you have the reset button as well?

p/s: if only time can backtrack.....sigh....i dunno what's happening to blogger..i cant change font and colors...

reflection....

2005-09-26T22:20:00.000+08:00

reflection....

to whom it may concern...in life...it is full of decision making...every single decision that you've made...you have to pay a price...why? cause the time will never go back...it will never change because of you...never....so never never make mistake...

that's why im very careful whenever i have to make decision...and i can seriously tell you...in love...decision making is even tougher....cause a small mistake....will cause you to be miserable for life....how? you've got to be more careful and follow what your heart tells you...if you have one....duhx..

tada....no what happens if you made a wrong move and made wrong decision? i can tell you...move forward...cause no matter what you do...you never cover it up...and don't even bother to make it up...cause you will make it worse...plus plus plus....don't ever think and go back...cause it had already happened...pain and sorrow inflicted....the scar is forever...so move on..don't expect it to come to you....moving forward is the crux....

p/s: thousands of apologies will never appease the poor soul...so give it a break...when you truly understands who treats you the best....it's too late...(:

my journey begins...

2005-09-25T22:38:00.000+08:00

my journey begins....

confession: i never rode a bicycle of to the road side before. but last night, was a night that i will never forget. that night i spent at least half of my riding time braking...in the roads...in the pavements...i really sucks...no choice...2 buggers made me waited for 2 hours...course they do not know how to get to rp from kallang...sucks...and i sang jay's first album to his fifth...and they are still not there..roarr....

my first stop at istana park...

welcome to istana park...

coolies after cycling...

it rained...so we posed at the shelter...

rain never stop..so did our posing...

finally...acting cute...

rained have stopped....next destination...let's end with a statue...

p/s: my first ever experience of night riding...and it rawks....roarr. it simply rawks....it's fun and enjoyable...i lurvedd it...i've gotta train more...

bored..

2005-09-23T22:06:00.000+08:00

boring life....

boredd.

this is my life..

p/s: my life sucks...

first isibl

2005-09-22T21:11:00.000+08:00

happy but disappointed...):

am i expecting too much from my team? today we bagged our first win for our isibl campaign...i was happy with a win...but wasn't satisfied on the things we played....not that im looking down on my opponents...but the fact is...they weren't that strong at all...so we managed to win them 36 - 83...a big win indeed...but...our defense wasn't up to standard...we did a half court man to man...first quarter wasn't bad...we kept the scoreline at 9 - 21...below ten....that was commentable...but subsequently....our defense loosen up and by the fourth...they were already breaking up our defense with some lightning fast breaks...sad...

actually what my friend told me was correct...pitting against weaker opponents...at least try out your drills...your plays and players rotation....but we did not...in fact i think we only tried out the bench players and the rest is just some leisure play of basketball...but glad to say...at least i know who can play and who cannot...well...our bench is indeed shallow....and does not have enough coverage...

cheers for myself....today although i did not score a lot of points...but my defense was relatively good...zero fouls and all legal footworks...hahahaha....and also...at least 3 steals...but still...i still can improve...but but...no blocks yet...sad...hahahaha...nvm can improve...i hope that this performance will be brought forward in pitting against better players...and also...i still have to improve on my footwork...it's way too slow...so i must be motivated...(:

today...my big boss have told me his aims for the school...and i hoped i will be in his plans...yesh...i believe i can do it...personal training is up...my mind is set...

p/s: 8 pts...3 steals...zero fouls...i can do better...personal training up...

what should i do?

2005-09-21T18:11:00.000+08:00

face off....

what's wrong with me? im always that indecisive....what happened? what exactly i wanted? i do not know....damn....this is me...uncertain me...i've wanted it a lot...but when it's right in front of me...i began to fear...as i know...it will leave me again....luckily i've an alternative....but now....my alternative had been taken up...what should i do? do i really have to wait till i've lose it then i can realize its importance? or i need to move forward and find something new that grabs my attention and shines on me solely....and that let me has the urge to fight for it? i do not know...till now...i've not come across that....i do not have a fixed mind....why why why? :(

oops i've did it again....

screw it...i've promised myself that i will not do it...why why why....why can't i keep my promise and control myself? what's happening to me? i can keep secrets and promises but why can't i keep this one? really hated myself....so what if im the nicest guy? so what if i have the most matured mindset? so what? i'm still that rotten if i can't keep a promise...furthermore a promise that is made by myself...i'm just lying to myself...cheating my own feelings....im so fake...i guessed i'll never improve if this problem persist...i must really hold on to it...

one day many mistakes...how am i going to live my life now...control control...sebas...i believe u can do it...cause you are one class above the others...you are simply different...

sian....just found that i do not know the songs well...they know me...but i do not know them...just found out my weakness in singing....i can't do fast changing of pitch....how how? what am i going to do? can someone just tell me...if you do not know the song well...do not even go attempt it...it just sounds disgusting....hahaha...(: is my room too cold? and will coldness affect your singing ability? sian... i do not know....i need a teacher....i need advice.....lee music school here i come.....provided i've saved enough...hahahah....

yes...cold will make your articulation and pronounciation fail...damn...why am i feeling cold?

p/s: guessed im going to sing to forget my mistakes...tomorrow first isibl match against the japanese...wish me luck...

She's back~!

2005-09-20T22:41:00.000+08:00

she's back....(:

this morning was happily going for training until my capt told me lifang wants to meet us for some discussion...it was a ppt for the bangkok trip...damn....wasted my morning...did not trained at all...in the midst of the discussion...a person im me...and i was very happy after i saw the conversation window...

she's back...hahaha...2 weeks from sri lanka...hahahaha...so lame...too bad eunice is not around...otherwise sure share the joy with her...she came back with good news...she did not tell me straight...but after 2 weeks...our antenna still up and working...hahahaha...cause...we're always on the same frequency...*winks*

today did not trained with the team...so my capt and i had some light training on our own....had tons of fun...

got the stairway to heaven from abby...my mum is watching now...sad....hahaha

p/s: sad sad story...im totally clueless...hahaha...well my friend had bought good news with her...so we shall be happy...

weird...

2005-09-19T23:49:00.000+08:00

weird...weirder...weirdest...(:

today played dota with kw and paul....so long nvr play games with paul...i think the last time was cs and it was like...during my secondary school....played and we owned them...and as usual...im a feeder...died a lot of times..hahaha...my sis coming back today and my mum made wanton noodles...it was damn nice...and we still had some left over...so i guess tomorrow will be wanton again...today i only had a meal...so happy...guard....here i come...

at night accompanied kw to buy his belt and tie...he's starting work on wednesday...and i bought reebok tights....40 bucks....sad...burnt....so i pass him his chelsea robben jersey and returned his mp3....thanks for lending it to me dude....played a few games of pool and got owned by him....he's forever so consistence.....so i went home at around 10+....

was chatting online after i bathe...then abby told me a real freaky stuff...she asked me when's my bday...after she checked my bday....the rest of the things she said was...omg...omg...omg..omg...hahahah...weirdo...then she tells me....her bday...carrie's bday...and mine....all fall on the same date....and a year apart....hahahah....so freakkyy.....(:

p/s: today...another person urge me to join project superstar....it's not that i do not want to join....but it's impossible....):

Sunday Morning..

2005-09-18T23:32:00.000+08:00

careless...stubborn...nothing to say...):

this morning at 8 + where all ppl were still sleeping...i was awake...my mum tripped over a rug in the kitchen and she fell...a very loud bang...she dropped the kettle on the floor...and she shouted for me...while im still in my bed...she weep...i ran out to the kitchen asap...saw her sitting on the floor crying...then i asked her where she hurt and how she fell...she went straight on her knees...but luckily she landed on her right knee first...her right knee had a replacement a year ago...so i quickly bathe and than rushed her to sgh's a&e....went in to see the doctor and she had a x-ray...the doctor says everything is normal and there's no crack or any loosen of joints....phew a sigh of relief....

reach home at around 11+ and started sleeping...woke up again at 3+ and play some lame games...at 4 + chatted with my friends....and even till now...we haven stopped...hahaha..nuts....basically sunday is a boring day for me...pushed every of my event just to accompany my mum at home....

i shall end here....

p/s: isibl schedule out...hope my team can excel...and i really hope my teammates will be committed and motivated...(:

Singapore Invitational

2005-09-17T23:57:00.000+08:00

saturday...

had a wonderful sleep last night after wasting my breathe to talk with a stubborn person...talk and talk and talk...she still do not understand...it's simply frustrating...well, today woke up at 2+ and online...chatted with some of my good friends and enjoyed the conversation...at 3+ i called ben and asked him about the isibl schedule and if he's going to toa payoh sports hall...there's this singapore invitational women's basketball ongoing there...so i called carl and meet him there....

reach there at about 640...the first match had started...with taipei leading the indonesians...the match was very exciting...the true matchup begins during the 3rd quarter when the indonesians fought back from a 2 digits deficit to an one point lead...cheers man...they played a very hasty 4th quarter and lead the match until the last minute....fouls had killed them off...it was a very exciting match..well done....

second match...singapore versus the aussies...team singapore had a very good fight with the aussies in the first quarter...making the aussies panicked and made several changes....but in the end...the aussies rox....they simply the best man...team singapore had early foul troubles with their captain bagging 4 fouls...conclusion...aussies owned....

just had a super hot beehoon soup...guess i will get sore throat tomorrow...drink more water bahs....

p/s:
aussie number 7 is pretty...very attractive...hope to see her tomorrow...(:

friendly match...

2005-09-16T22:32:00.000+08:00

friendly..:(

today had a friendly match with ite central...i saw min kwee...min cen's brother...he's good...youth state player...anyway...the match was lousy...we played very badly...it seems that the team is not a team...all seems so lost and tired after the thailand trip....restless...making a lot of turnovers....so no need to say...we lost big time...yj was demoralized....

back at home...i ate my dinner...and an ice cream...hahahaha....fattening liao...but who cares...im already fat....hahahaha...then i attempt..to voice record....my singing...hahahah...well, my first attempt for english failed....sounds so eeeeyeee.....than after that i tried a very difficult z chen's song...and also failed..did not catch the tempo and rhythm at all....sad....a bad day i had today...

let's hope tomorrow will be a better day...(:

15th Sept' 05

2005-09-15T21:29:00.000+08:00

im back~!

bangkok, thailand trip day 1.

early in the morning...i woke up at 5.30 am and bathe...had 2 slices of bread...my mum bombarded me with lots of tonics...chix essence...bird nest...ginseng...she's afraid that i will get very sleepy....and i ended up in the toilet...at 5.50 am...supposed to leave my house at 6.00am to meet baosen...but the toilet session ended very late...and baosen kept rushing me...his gf too...totally 2 typical spiders....

managed to take a cab at 6.10 am...and went straight to the airport with baosen and his gf..sheena...upon reaching airport...saw ben and some of the basketball guys...and ben was distributing jerseys...my basketballs guys were all stunned and total sianness of the retro jersey...100% cotton singlet...hahahah...this is so funny....

all were ready to check in...until carrie (netball team) asked me...where is weirong...then i realized that he have not reach the airport...sigh...why like that? so we waited for him...and called him...he's rushing in the cab to the airport...when he reached airport...we all check in our lugguage and went into the custom...vf 302 is our flight number...boarded the plane...and all of us (netball and basketball team) were eagerly waiting inside...

finally, the plane took off with screams and shouts from the girls...(i supposed is from the netball girls cos, janelle, their advisor showed the ... face)....the travelling time is approximately 4 hours... during the first hour...there were no interaction...just some plain conversation between the frens...when the second hour comes...havoc time...lots of ppl were sleeping...some had their mouth wide open..and guess what? our usual stuff...photo taking....hahahah...the plane finally touch down in thailand after several victims were being identified...

in the airport...after passing the immigration gate, we proceed to the lugguage collection...the place where our 1st unfortunate event happened...1 of my players lugguage was missing...we searched and searched and searched...but still no signs of it...he's real upset...cos' his digital camera is inside...he has no clothes to change...we left the arrival hall reluctantly and head towards our hotel...first hotel...

check in was fast...we placed our belongings in our respective rooms and went back to the lobby...this is where the 2nd bad news come...there are no match in the first day...sigh...actually im expecting that already...and we had this replaced with a "training" session....we took the train (mrt) to national stadium of thailand...and right opposite the stadium...there is this shopping mall called mbk...shopping mall...man..all of them were overjoyed...and there we went for our first free and easy session...we ate in this santa fast food restaurant...hahaha...then we meet at the train station for the "training session"....the netball girls had their physical training...and the basketball team were searching for a basketball court....basketball have...but an event is running at the place...muay thai....or thai boxing...so we watched the muay thai competition...and it is very exciting and hilarious...as we saw batman there...our players were energetic in the first place..but towards the ending..all looked bored and sian...cos there were no match...here comes the 3rd bad news...we had a scolding/educating by ben...after that...we went back to mbk and shop...

mbk...considered as 1 of the largest shopping mall in thailand...i've bought a bag and a pouch from there...costing only 900 baht which is equivalent to 36 sgd....hahahah great bargaining skills from my capt....we end the shopping trip at about 7.30pm....back to the hotel we went...washing up was done immediately as all were sweaty and smelly...especially the girls (both netball and basketball)...at around 9...we meet up at the lobby and head to silom road by train...silom road is bangkok's famous red light district and bugis street...there were lots of bars there and it is very messy as all the pimps will start to follow you and show you pictures of various position and they will attempt to ask you go into their pub...but our final destination was the "bugis street"....it was right in the middle of two stretch of pubs and bars...so all the guys got harassed..did not manage to buy anything from there...as the things there are very fake..at around 1115pm...we meet back at the train station and hotel sweet hotel....

at the hotel...we washed up and headed down to the lobby...there's a bar at the lobby...called the rendevous bar...i've order long island tea...and kim seng ordered remy martin...and of course some snacks to fill our stomach...after the chilling at the bar...we went back to our room and end our day...

bangkok, thailand trip day 2.

day started at 630 am...woke up and wash up...went down to have breakfast..after that will be city tour....they bring us to temple and pray first...it was kinda funny..the shrine/altar is right in the middle of the city...and behind it was a big shopping mall..after praying...we had a boat ride in the river...trust me...you wouldn't like to fall into the river.....first stop...king's temple...we had a tour in the king's temple...and guess what...shopping again....from this stop...i've bought gifts for liz, eunice and nunu...with some help from carrie...hahahah...i sucks at buying gifts...4th bad news came when we meet at the dock at 1130 am...weirong was late for the meeting time....he went mia...and ben was real mad...sad....after that we continue our boat ride...near a chinese temple...we did not dock there...but we stop there...cos it lunch time....not for us...but the fishes in the river...there were...thousands or even millions in the river...all vying for the bread that we've thrown down....after feeding...we went straight to a gem shop...to see how they find the sapphire and rubies and the making of jewellries...there, we had another shopping spree..hahaha

lunch we had in a restaurant with a pool table...we had a quick one and all started swarming the pool table...hahaha....then back to hotel for our long awaited match...we took our barang barang and rushed down to the lobby to board the bus...this time...our f4 were missing...well, our 5th unfortunate events happen..ben was real real mad...he shouted...den he ignored us...well...we were apologetic...but dunno how to say...the trip to the match place was 2 hrs so all started to sleep in the bus....until the destination....

first match was the girls one..they got owned....second match...the guys...we managed to put up a good fight with them...a narrow defeat...as soon as the match ends...it started to rain....and i left my nike bottle there...so sad.... :(...first piece of good news...ben start to talk to us...hahahah...he asked us to go by his room and drink...and team debrief...and champions league...wahahaha...then after that....we all went to bed...dead beat....

bangkok, thailand trip day 3.

day starts at 7am...breakfast time...then ice breaking and team bonding games..followed by....our free 'n' easy...i presumed all went to mbk...there we had our final shopping spree....from there i bought clothes...2 jerseys...1 shorts...1 sweater..1 polo tee and a pair of slippers...shopping ends at 1.15...and we are supposed to meet at that time...and we are real late this time...but luckily...ben wasn't mad...i can tell you the whole trip we are damn suay...after we took our belongings...we board coach and headed to an university...2 hrs trip...but this time....all did not really sleep in the bus...only for ben...he crawled into the boot and sleep...hahahah...it was raining...very heavily...

we reached there at about 4 plus...and the matches begins with the netball team...the netball team not bad...bagged a victory...well done girls...congrats...i think hor..you all win is because the whole basketball team cheer for you all...hahaha...second match...our basketball girls....they had a very good chance in winning...but luck is not there...so the match concluded with a narrow defeat...lastly...the guys...the opponents had a very even team...with height...we had a bad first quarter...but we managed to pull back...and got even at times..but still...the match conclude with a deficit of 10+ points....

on the journey back...we had tons of funs....the netball girls are crazy...i can tell you man...they invited individual basketball guys up to take photos...hahaha...the most famous guy is our capt...mr. chu kinsing..he was invited 4 times i think...hahahah...so all went crazy....back at hotel...we bathe and went back to silom street for supper with the basketball girls...hahahaha...from there, i've realized that...thailand got no midnight surcharge...hahahaha...

back at hotel after the supper....baosen asked me to go to the netball girls' room....with kinsing and kimseng...at there....we saw some drunkards...hahahaha drunk by henikken beer...funny right..then all went crazy...but we were not there...hahaha as im sleeping...hahaha..

bangkok, thailand trip day 4.

woke up at 7 for breakfast again...the last breakfast at first hotel...then we went up and packed our stuffs...and brought it down to the lobby to check out...there, we had the last unfortunate event...an advisor, lost his pouch that contains the airport tax of the entire netball team, his wallet and his passport...guessed he gotta stay there for a few more days....reached the airport and checked in immediately, had a lot of photo sessions....and in the plane we are...vf 301...heading back to singapore....

p/s: special thanks to the netball team...they had only 1 match for the entire trip...and really appreciated that they cheer for the rp team...from this trip...i can tell you...container 9 will not be the same anymore...btw...during the first match...a thai girl says that she love me... -_- hahaha...that's all folks.. hope to have another trip real fast.. (:

final countdown....

2005-09-11T22:40:00.000+08:00

final countdown...

today was late...real late for the converse 1 on 1...last night slept at 4....my mum was back from a & e....doctor said was some post surgical infection...and my mum have to be ultra careful...today's converse 1 on 1 was a success...but i didn't officiate...until the semi and finals...converse was very generous...keep giving away prizes...i find the most funny part was the games played by team singapore...they played till so serious...and especially steven....number 13..hahahah...got rejected by a 16 year old guy...who is in combined school white....and his face darkened...although number 13 is for good players...but...apparently that doesn't apply to him...hahaha (:

after the converse 1 on 1....i went to change my thai baht...seriously, tampines mall's money changer is a big eater...the exchange rate was 24.10, on of the lowest i've asked...and at last... i went to this remittance center to change my thai baht at a rate of 24.30....spending 6k in bangkok...wahaha...

reached home at 2040...bathe and eat as usual....then i starting packing my stuffs...i always thot that i wont bring a lot of things...but end up...2 bags..a backpack and a sports bag...can't wait to reach bangkok and have fun...i hope i'll have a good night's rest...tomorrow will be taking cab to bao sen's place first then to airport...what the...cos 630am is the meeting time...sigh...i shall have tons of fun there...

p/s:
today the fragile girl was damn depressed...saw a 180 degree change...on her face...don't worry...no one's going to blame you...you have done a good job...

retro fever is back...

2005-09-10T22:59:00.000+08:00

retro fever....

today's a boring day...the response wasn't as good as ytd...and i've saw a coupled of sore losers today...and some real lousy players...saw her today...so happy...hahaha...she looks familiar to me...don't know why...hahaha....well, my day was spoilt by jc... a referee that i hated for life...cocky and good for nothing..dont care la...

finally, my nightmare has come...a jersey that i can't even imagine...retro way...100% cotton...singlet....im still wondering how to wear that to play...finally...i cant escape the fate of wearing that...well, new jersey number...it indicates a time for improvements...

my mum went to a & e today...and now is still inside...she had been diagnosed of irregular heart beat...but i went to the observation ward and saw the ecg diagrm on the screen and everything was normal after the injection...so let's hope she will be back soon....

btw...fragile girl...this is the second time i saw you weep...don't think too much...ending...

what a tiring day...

2005-09-09T21:58:00.000+08:00

tired tired tired :X

this morning woke up at 4+.... attempted to go back to sleep after visiting the toilet...but i cant...damn....so i rolled on the bed...roll here roll there...and finally rolled till 5+am....i got off my bed...and switched on my computer...surprise surprise...spens haven slp....i think he's superman sia...training on sleeping late....i went to bathe and ate the leftover birthday cake of my sis....and i left my house at approximately 6 am....no choice... meeting leanne and carl at 650 am at tampines....gotta to help out in the converse 1 on 1...

upon reaching there...i went to set up the place... not much setting was done...cos there got helpers.. im just there to officiate...hehehe...the actual competition starts at 830...so leanne, chun leong and me actually stand there and officiate till 1700hrs...sad right? :(

supposed to have a frenly match against ite central in rp...but cos of the event...i only got to reach rp at the 4th quarter of the match with 2 mins remaining on the clock...and had to witness a lost against them.. :(

was made to officiate the girls match with shamu...well he improved a lot...in terms of officiating but still very raw...nvm...still training...and in the midst of the girls match...i had the worst humiliation of my officiating career...i was said by the ite central guys that im bias...blind...and kayu (loghead)...and...kelong....what the.... (oops! i cant say that word out..)... the humiliation was so big that i was left with no choice but to confront their coach and tell him about that...this is the first time...first time kena humiliated...damn....the match ended with ite central lost to my sch girls...

now im home...finally saw my "laopo" online for at least a month...made me so worried... heheh...and btw...i didn't get my referee cert for nothing... (:

p/s: tampines mall is spooky...out of the sudden i've got a cut on my hand when i did not even do any hard labour or come in contact with any sharp object... *shivers*

story telling day.

2005-09-08T19:22:00.000+08:00

story telling. (:

case study 1:

her world...

once upon a time...there were girl called a...she was a joyous, cheerful girl...but occasionally had problems, whatever problems she had...she will nvr share...she had frens of course...but she liked to keep it to herself...so basically on the surface she's the happy kind but deep within...no one knows her world...

she got to know this guy b...of the same interest...they get along well...soon they were frens...happy they were, they joked, they laughed...that's how happy they are...sadness? nvr happen with the two of them...only on the girl...this girl had fallen for him...not miraculously but naturally...however, feelings were not expressed...not that it is not strong enough..but...she's afraid of losing this fren (guy b)...

once, guy b almost had a gf...she almost cried out...she, herself, knows that it is inevitable if she still doesn't let her feelings known to him...it is quite disheartening...

frens she had, tried to put them together...but nothing is effective...it was always this dilemma, frenship or relationship...

verdict:
to the guy...she will not wait for you forever...dont make her wait...dont make her feel sad...i'll kill you...if you love her...cherish her...
to the girl...the same old words i will tell you...make known to him...you have not convince me that you and him is impossible...you only said that you two will become very good frens....and also...try to look around...perhaps you will see more... (:

case study 2:

a story of apple and pear

once upon a time...there was this pear c....a very fun and happy pear...studying in good sch and had bunch of good frens...

one fine day, this pear gets to know an apple...a very bright apple...so caring and loving kind of apple...they become good frens...and slowly...they become a couple...

time have passed, days have passed even years have passed...they no longer are couples...the pear had her own life and so does the apple...the pear also have come into a totally new environment, had new frens new companions...one day...the apple came back...the apple wants to get back to the pear...hoping that they can revert and become a couple again...but it's impossible...as the pear has its own taste and choice...

the apple was fuming...trying all different ways to hurt itself...so that it can get the pear back...but luckily the pear is able to convince the apple that the two of them is impossible...

verdict:
the apple was actually a pear in disguise...and i hope the "apple" will go find a better apple...cos it is not easy to change into an apple...but there's still chances that you can change back to a pear... the pear, forget about those awful memories back there...good times are ahead of you.. (:

end of story telling.

today went to sgh with my mum for the post operation check up....had an ultra big bowl of porridge...her appointment was at 1500...mass ppl...so we had to wait till 1700++ then she's done with her appointment...went to tiong bahru plaza to buy some household stuffs...short day today..on my way home...i've collected the digital camera from my fren...i've borrowed from him for the bangkok trip...4 more days....

tonight gotta sleep early...cos tml need to reach tampines mall at 7 am.... sad...basically today had a very short day....so im ending here le... (:

p/s:
"-B3Cks^7- says:
when liz come back, she will look more lk a philiphino maid"

the day you left...

2005-09-07T20:06:00.000+08:00

bad day to start with... ):

last night slept at 6 am....and woke up at 8....guess what....my fren is late for his test...definitely...we waited at the bus stop after we've washed up and just nice 153 came and all were boarding the same bus....we scanned our ezlink as usual...and one of my fren scanned his...it had a normal beep sound followed with an error sound....my fren was startled...he wanted to rescan his card and i told him...no need la...scan liao still scan what...then we continued walking to the cabin...and this driver...shouted at my fren..."oih...you haven scan lehx..." we replied him scan liao... den he showed my fren a very gl face...and said come scan again...my fren was a bit fed up and said..."you haven turned on the scanner how to scan?" and finally, the driver turned on the scanner and my fren went to scan...and...guess what? the error sound was heard...now the driver is very cocky, he said... scan liao where got this kind of sound... all of us was startled and got nothing to say... i sweared to god that he really scanned his card.... so my fren went on to pay the trip by cash...my fren was fed up and start to think...and he began to suspect he left his ezlink (got money one) at my fren place...then he began to ransack his wallet...what he saw next added to his sianness....there were 2 ezlink card inside his wallet ( 1 with money and 1 without)....so sad lo...i still hate that bus driver's expression...can't he be more polite?

home sweet home at 10+ am...saw my mum washing and cleaning the fans....and she asked me to clean the ceiling fan as she's unable to climb so high....so i cleaned the fan and continued playing my lame game.....it had been quite some time since i've last clean the fan....at 11, i went to bathe...preparing myself to collect the cake for my sis...today's her birthday.....so enthu....this cake shop was at bukit timah some place called greenwood ave...took a cab there... the cake was real nice...esp. the chocolate one...the shop name is lana cake shop...give it a try... you will not regret....after that... i took the same cab back to school for the bangkok trip briefing and my mum took the cake home...(:

ooooh...the briefing was in the annex hall...basically briefed about what are we going to do and what are we expected to do and some codes of conduct thingy...a real funny and interesting session with ben seow crapping and saying some lame stuffs....well at least it's not dry...after the briefing...had a light lunch...and helped out ben with some team stuffs that is required to be brought to bangkok...stayed until 3+ and ben drove me and my friends to bugis as he's going to order some jerseys...

finally, from bugis took the train to changi airport...meeting my classies there to send our dear liz off to sri lanka for her yep...well...though we din talk much when i see her...but blessings were in my heart...hope her all the best in the yep trip...it's not easy to undergo what is happening in sri lanka...and definitely hoped that she will learn a lot of things from the trip...(: she wanted to dine with us at the airport...but the schedule was so tight that we have to give it a pass...she's real sad about that...kept apologizing....silly right? we go there is to see her off, blessing her with a safe journey....not to dine with her...hahaha...funny girl...off she go! now i believed she's still in the plane on her way to sri lanka...let's hope that she will have a pleasant journey...bon voyage...(:

monday will be my turn....cant wait for that day to come...just applied auto roamed...call me my frens...missing you ppl alot...(:

what a day~

2005-09-07T06:03:00.000+08:00

long long night -_-

what a day...woke up at 1 and played some lame games...until spens msn me and says "hey biochem ut 1 out liao"...i was like, wow at least got something that is fresh/new to do...so i went on checking my grades....well still not that bad...it was within my expectations as i remembered clearly i can't do 3 give away questions...and mind you~ 3 give aways....that piled up to 9 marks....well there goes my A...

what a day...today my mum had a big row with my sis... all because of her stupid cake...damn sad...i also dunno what to say about my sis...she basically dunno how to think...imagine this scenario, someone bought a cake for you and you tell that person no need to pass the cake to me...cos i dunno when i'm free...idiotic right...

what a day, went out with my secondary sch frens and here i am....ending up in one of my fren's house...he claimed that i desolate him everytime he asked me out for gathering...no choice but to pacify him man....that's why i am here still blogging non-stop...he attempted to sing karaoke in his room...watched vcd...played dota....and study...funny right? he supposed to have a test tml and he's like staying up with me just to play games....

what a day, i have to say. heree, all my frens are soundly asleep, leaving me all alone to endure...guessed i'm gonna stop here for a break... and well.. good morning everyone... (:

a new page.

2005-09-06T02:30:00.000+08:00

happy day. (:

started my day at 11am, woke up and can't get back to sleep...
classies and i watched 1 more chance and the whole show is hilarious~!!! can't stop laughing at some parts... towards the ending, the show was real sad...esp. the part where those ex-cons can't find job and this particular guy had problems with his family as a guy came into the picture...what i would say is, local film with local standards.

had a steamboat session with my classies at marina south... had tons of fun...very full~! the food was alright at sight but was delicious after we cooked it...can't imagine...hiak hiak hiak...a small steamboat session allowed me to discover the underlying world of my classies....what a surprise...well, that's me...i never bother about my own world...i just keep exploring others....what do i have to say...all of you are the elements that make up my life...adores you to the core...i may have lost 1, but i've gained all of you...

din actually see that we will chit chat at suntec's starbucks after the steamboat session....ghost stories we shared (even though lunar seventh month has ended)....rhumba i drank...the first time ever i shared my personal life....chatted till eleven and all hurried home in cabs... (:

surprise surprise, i actually initiate to start a blog and i consult this fren of mine after i've read hers for countless time...haha...she's supposed to teach me how to start a blog but she's real busy with her own stuffs; guess exams and fyp pressure bah...nevertheless, im trying to explore the blog on my own....been thinking to myself...i've nothing to do everytime when i switched on the com... so why waste the time idling?

sick i am. guessed the flu medicine has cast its effects on my now...time to get some sleep. (: